In recent years, therapeutic terms like “manipulation,” “gaslighting,” and various diagnostic labels have become part of everyday conversation. While raising awareness about mental health is important, the casual misuse of these terms can dilute their meaning and, more worryingly, endanger others.
The Problem with Mislabeling
When terms like “narcissist” or “gaslighting” are used loosely, they can lose their clinical significance. For example, calling someone a narcissist because they exhibit selfish behavior ignores the complex criteria required for a diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Similarly, labeling disagreements or misunderstandings as “gaslighting” can trivialize the serious psychological abuse the term originally described.
This overuse can harm relationships, stigmatize individuals, and prevent people from getting the professional help they need. When diagnostic terms are thrown around carelessly, those truly suffering from mental health issues may feel invalidated or misunderstood. It can also lead to false accusations, damaging trust and communication between people.
How It Endangers Others
Misusing these terms doesn’t just dilute their meaning; it can also endanger others. For example, accusing someone of being manipulative or gaslighting without fully understanding the context can escalate conflicts and create unnecessary hostility. This can result in serious social consequences, from strained relationships to workplace discrimination.
Additionally, the use of terms based in incorrect information can lead to mismanagement of mental health concerns. It is important that the meaning behind words continue to carry their weight and effectively communicate the severity of an experience or situation. This dilution or twisting of terms can prevent someone from accessing the appropriate treatment or support they need.
A Call for Caution and Compassion
As therapists, we advocate for increased awareness and understanding of mental health. Instead of jumping to conclusions or labeling behaviors with clinical terms, let’s promote open, honest communication and encourage people to seek professional guidance when they’re struggling.
By being mindful of our language, we can help preserve the integrity of these important concepts and protect the mental health and well-being of ourselves and others.
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For readers seeking more information or guidance on mental health topics, consider scheduling an appointment with one of our therapists who can provide professional insight tailored to your individual needs. You can book an appointment by calling (352) 363- 1998.
Misusing clinical terms doesn’t just dilute their meaning; it can also endanger others. For example, accusing someone of being manipulative or gaslighting without fully understanding the context can escalate conflicts and create unnecessary hostility. This can result in serious social consequences, from strained relationships to workplace discrimination.
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Hi Everyone and Happy Friday!
It’s Book Rec Friday. Each Friday I’m sharing a book recommendation that feels relevant/helpful/interesting as we travel through this pandemic time together. Last week I suggested Shauna M. Ahern’s memoir, Enough. Today’s recommendation: Everyday Zen, Charlotte Joko Beck.
Beck is was an American Zen teacher and writer…looking her up for this post I discovered she died in 2011.
I’ve been thinking about suffering. Probably not surprising — not only are we in the grip of a world pandemic, it’s Passover week and Easter week, and I’ve also been talking with my friend Natalie. Natalie and I trekked in the Nepal Himalayas not long after I read Everyday Zen for the first time. Nepal’s a melding pot of culture — Buddhism, Hinduism, animism, and the odd judeo christian practice thrown in. The whole region absorbs and embraces spiritual practices, creating a marbled soup rather than defined categories. Nepal is an incredible atmosphere of religious tolerance, surrounded the description-defying Himalaya mountain range. (Everyone should experience it once in their lives!)
And Nepal is where Prince Siddhartha Gautama, aka the Buddha, was born — and at age 29, the story goes, left his cushy upbringing to find ultimate release from suffering.
Everyday Zen is that rare book that (to me) speaks with such calm, unassuming, no bullshit authority, it makes you sit up at attention. Sigmund Freud declared that successful living means functioning well in love and work, hence the subtitle. Zen practice normally makes one think of monastic communities, removed from our everyday worries about jobs and relationships. But Joko Beck doesn’t cotton to spiritual bypass. Life is suffering, says the Buddha. Joko Beck brings these worlds together: Zen and Real Life, with its inherent suffering.
“Nobody can experience our lives for us; nobody can feel for us the pain life inevitably brings,” Joko Beck writes. She shows a path to take responsibility for our thoughts, including our willingness to directly experience our own pain, and how to work on creating what she calls “A Bigger Container” for them. If we don’t, we lose too much.
“[A]s long as we evade, we shut ourselves off from the wonder of what life is and what we are.” She writes about Real and False Suffering and says “Finally we become willing to experience our suffering instead of fighting it. When we do so our standpoint, our vision of life, abruptly shifts.”
We are all grappling with suffering right now; we’re all experiencing personal and worldwide pain. And: The world has always been on the back of a sleeping tiger; right now, we’re experiencing the pain of the tiger awakening, as George Saunders reminds us (see Podcast Wednesday).
How will our world emerge from this pain? How will we? I hope the answer to those questions somehow involves a “Bigger Container.” I hope this suffering strips away some of the ways we’ve evaded pain, and created unnecessary suffering — in our selves and our fellow humans.
Everyday Zen reminds me that we’re not alone; in fact, wiser minds have been working on this issue of pain and suffering for eons. Wisdom is here for the taking, if we are but to engage with it. I hope this book is as useful to you in this time as it has been for me.
Be well, wash your hands, and stay connected!
Lisa
