Black Lives Matter. Period.
June 6, 2020

In recent years, therapeutic terms like “manipulation,” “gaslighting,” and various diagnostic labels have become part of everyday conversation. While raising awareness about mental health is important, the casual misuse of these terms can dilute their meaning and, more worryingly, endanger others.

The Problem with Mislabeling

When terms like “narcissist” or “gaslighting” are used loosely, they can lose their clinical significance. For example, calling someone a narcissist because they exhibit selfish behavior ignores the complex criteria required for a diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Similarly, labeling disagreements or misunderstandings as “gaslighting” can trivialize the serious psychological abuse the term originally described.

This overuse can harm relationships, stigmatize individuals, and prevent people from getting the professional help they need. When diagnostic terms are thrown around carelessly, those truly suffering from mental health issues may feel invalidated or misunderstood. It can also lead to false accusations, damaging trust and communication between people.

How It Endangers Others

Misusing these terms doesn’t just dilute their meaning; it can also endanger others. For example, accusing someone of being manipulative or gaslighting without fully understanding the context can escalate conflicts and create unnecessary hostility. This can result in serious social consequences, from strained relationships to workplace discrimination.

Additionally, the use of terms based in incorrect information can lead to mismanagement of mental health concerns. It is important that the meaning behind words continue to carry their weight and effectively communicate the severity of an experience or situation. This dilution or twisting of terms can prevent someone from accessing the appropriate treatment or support they need.

A Call for Caution and Compassion

As therapists, we advocate for increased awareness and understanding of mental health. Instead of jumping to conclusions or labeling behaviors with clinical terms, let’s promote open, honest communication and encourage people to seek professional guidance when they’re struggling.

By being mindful of our language, we can help preserve the integrity of these important concepts and protect the mental health and well-being of ourselves and others.

_____________

For readers seeking more information or guidance on mental health topics, consider scheduling an appointment with one of our therapists who can provide professional insight tailored to your individual needs. You can book an appointment by calling (352) 363- 1998.

 

What Does Child Abuse Have To Do With Me?

What Does Child Abuse Have To Do With Me?

It’s Child Abuse Awareness Month.   No one likes to think about child abuse.  So we’re largely silent about it.   Which creates a perfect condition for child abuse to thrive and proliferate.  Because abuse of all kinds thrives in silence and darkness.   And the cost...

What We’re Really Talking About (Coercive Control)

What We’re Really Talking About (Coercive Control)

October is "Domestic Violence" Awareness Month. I put "domestic violence" in quotation marks because that's an outdated term that emphasizes the physical violence, and misleads us to think it's only happening in domesticity -- such as in a marriage. There's a better...

How to Spot — and Handle — a Sociopath

How to Spot — and Handle — a Sociopath

This post was originally published on March 2, 2014. Thousands of comments later, I'm still getting emails and calls about it weekly. Given the interest in sociopathy in the news today, I decided to re-publish it here.Ted Bundy. Jeffrey Dahlmer. Danny Rolling. Jim...

Ithaka…and a turn in the journey.

Ithaka…and a turn in the journey.

“Dearly beloved, we have gathered here today to get through this thing called Life.”  — Prince I’m shifting gears from the 3-a-week blogs on poems/pods/books. I’ll keep sharing what I’m leaning into going forward….just not in this same 3x/week form. ...

Book Rec Friday 5/8/20

Book Rec Friday 5/8/20

I think I should rename this regular Friday post: Memoir Recommendation Friday.  Here’s another one: More Myself: A Journey, by Alicia Keys.  Singer and songwriter Alicia Keys takes us through her life from childhood...

Podcast Wednesday 5/6/20

Podcast Wednesday 5/6/20

The Goop Podcast Special Episode, Interview with Terry Real “Why We Need to Take Our Partners On”, April 22, 2020 I don’t even know where to start with this podcast, because it is so full of truth bombs and great nuggets that if I were to list all of them, I’d be...

Some thoughts on the last few weeks. I’ll make the writing short and the recommendations long for further learning, because my thoughts aren’t needed here; we need to listen to the voices of people of color.

Trauma needs a witness, and I witness with my feelings first: horrified, enraged, grieving. About the murder of black and brown bodies, recently including George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery and far too many more. About Amy Cooper and Christian Cooper in Central Park. Tentatively hopeful, and amazed, watching the peaceful protests spread throughout the world. And then outraged and angry and yes, terrified about the police brutality and violence sanctioned from the White House. As a human and as a mental health professional, it makes me sick.

Physical safety, recognition of full humanity, and mental health are all inextricably linked.

Individual mental health and cultural, communal wellness are also inextricably linked.

Not one of us will truly experience mental wellness until our sisters and brothers of color are valued, heard, and fully recognized as human.

Join me to #amplifymelanatedvoices. The day is long past for white people to de-center ourselves in the conversation about racism and start centering the voices of currently devalued, diverse cultures and skin colors. And to take responsibility for our own learning rather than asking people of color to educate us.

Here are some of the people I learn from, in no particular order, and some curated resources below. Please join me and learn to be more educated, anti-racist and empathic. (Clicking on the book titles takes you right to Amazon.com).

Austin Channing Brown
Book, I’m Still Here (Black Dignity in a World Made For Whiteness)
Insta @austinchanning
Twitter @austinchanning

Ibram X. Kendi
Author, books: Stamped From The Beginning, How To Be An Anti-Racist
IG @ibramxk
Twitter @DrIbram

Layla Saad
Book, Me & White Supremacy
Host, Good Ancestor Podcast
IG @laylafsaad

Rachel Cargle
Course: The Great Unlearn
IG @rachel.cargle
Twitter @RachelCargle
and
The Loveland Foundation
From the website: “Black women and girls deserve access to healing, and that healing will impact generations. (Founded by Rachel Cargle, this organization provides financial assistance for therapy for communities of color with specific attention to black women and girls.
This is a fund you can donate to, specifically for providing healing through therapy to people of color.)

Franchesca Ramsey
MTV Decoded host, you can see all her videos here
https://www.youtube.com/user/chescaleigh
IG @chescaleigh

Luvvie Ajayi Jones
Book, I’m Judging You: The Do Better Manual
Culture critic, activist, blogger extraordinaire.
IG @luvvie

Patrisse Cullors-Brignac
Co-Founder of Black Lives Matter
IG @osopepatrisse
Author with co-founder asha bandele of When They Call You a Terrorist

Ta-Nehisi Coates
Atlantic Magazine national correspondent and author, books:
Between The World and Me, We Were 8 Years In Power, The Water Dancer
IG @tanehisipcoates
Twitter @taNehisiCoates8

Audre Lorde
Poet, author
Intersectional thinker, self-described “black, lesbian, mother, warrior, poet,” who dedicated both her life and her creative talent to confronting and addressing injustices of racism, sexism, classism, heterosexism, and homophobia.
Book, Sister Outsider

A Detailed List of Anti-Racism Resources
https://medium.com/wake-up-call/a-detailed-list-of-anti-racism-resources-a34b259a3eea?utm_content=bufferf0e95&utm_medium=Thrive&utm_source=LinkedIn&utm_campaign=Buffer

75 Things White People Can Do For Racial Justice
https://medium.com/equality-includes-you/what-white-people-can-do-for-racial-justice-f2d18b0e0234

This is hardly an exhaustive list. We are rich with teachers, and need only to look to find them. By all means, suggest others!

Thank you for the courage and vulnerability it takes to look at racism and work to become anti-racist. Let’s keep listening deeply and making space for — and amplifying — voices of color, as long as it takes to bring equity to our culture. Our collective mental wellness rests in our ability to do this.

Lisa

Author

Lisa Wolcott

Lisa founded Wolcott Counseling & Wellness, LLC to offer the best mental wellness care in North Central Florida and beyond. Licensed in FL and CA, she’s also a clinical supervisor for Master level social workers in Florida. Lisa is a Certified Group Therapist (CGP) through the American Group Psychotherapy Association, and a Certified Daring Way™ Facilitator through The Daring Way™ an empirically based training and certification program for helping professionals, based on the research of Dr. Brené Brown. She is also a Gottman Level 1 certified couple’s therapy provider. Lisa has a passion for working with clients affected by intimate partner violence.