February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, a critical time to shine a light on an issue that affects nearly 10% of all teenagers throughout the U.S. If you or someone you know is in an unhealthy or abusive relationship, you are not alone. There is support, there are ways to protect yourself, and there are steps to take to build healthy relationships. This post will guide you through recognizing red flags, setting boundaries, and seeking help.

What is Teen Dating Violence?

Teen dating violence is a pattern of abusive behavior in a romantic relationship where one partner seeks to gain power and control over the other. It can take many forms, including physical violence, emotional abuse, verbal threats, sexual coercion, and digital harassment. It often starts subtly, with possessiveness or manipulation, before escalating into more serious forms of abuse. This kind of relationship can cause significant emotional and physical harm, affecting a teen’s self-esteem, academic performance, and mental health. Recognizing the signs of teen dating violence is the first step toward preventing and addressing it.

Signs of Abuse

If you’re in a relationship and feel like something isn’t right, it’s important to recognize the warning signs of abuse. Here are some signs to look out for:

Your partner makes you feel afraid of upsetting them, and you constantly worry about their reaction.
They try to control who you talk to, what you wear, or how you spend your time.
You feel pressured to do things you’re uncomfortable with, whether it’s physical contact, lying to friends and family, or skipping school.
They make you feel guilty for wanting to spend time with other friends or family.
Your partner calls you names, insults you, or puts you down, making you feel unworthy or unlovable.
They check your phone, social media, or demand access to your passwords.
They restrain you, twist you arm, push you – leaving you with bruises or injuries that you feel pressured to explain away.
They threaten to hurt themselves or you if you try to leave the relationship.

If any of these sound familiar, know that you are not alone. Abuse does not get better over time—it often escalates. You deserve to be in a relationship where you feel safe, valued, and respected. Reaching out for help is a courageous step, and there are people who care and want to support you.

How to Set Healthy Boundaries in Your Relationship

One of the most effective ways to prevent unhealthy relationships is by setting and enforcing healthy boundaries. Here’s how:

Know your values: Decide what is important to you in a relationship and stick to it.
Communicate openly: Be clear about your limits and make sure your partner understands them.
Respect yourself: Your feelings and comfort matter. If something makes you uncomfortable, it’s okay to say no.
Don’t be afraid to walk away: If someone continuously disrespects your boundaries, they do not deserve a place in your life.
Surround yourself with supportive people: Healthy friendships and family relationships can help reinforce positive boundaries and support you if you ever feel unsafe.

Red Flag Situations

Recognizing the warning signs of an unhealthy relationship can be the first step in protecting yourself or a friend. Here are three common situations that could be red flags:

Monitoring and Jealousy

You start noticing that your partner always wants to know where you are, who you’re with, and what you’re doing. They check your phone, demand passwords, or insist you respond immediately to texts.

Red Flag: Healthy relationships are built on trust, not control. If someone is invading your privacy and making you feel like you have to answer to them at all times, this is a sign of possessiveness and control.

Put-Downs and Emotional Manipulation

Your partner frequently makes hurtful jokes at your expense, criticizes your appearance, or tells you that you’re lucky they’re with you because no one else would want you.

Red Flag: Words can be just as damaging as physical actions. If someone is making you feel worthless or belittled, that is emotional abuse.

Pressuring or Forcing Physical Contact

Your partner insists on being physically intimate even when you’re uncomfortable. They guilt-trip you by saying, “If you loved me, you’d do this,” or they ignore your ‘no’ entirely.

Red Flag: Consent is essential. No one should ever make you feel pressured or force you into something against your will. If your boundaries are not being respected, it’s a major warning sign.

How to Support a Friend in an Unhealthy Relationship

If you suspect a friend is in an abusive relationship, your support can make a huge difference. The most important thing you can do is listen without judgment. Let your friend talk about their feelings and experiences without interrupting or telling them what to do. Avoid blaming them for staying in the relationship—leaving can be complicated and often requires time and support. Express your concern by gently pointing out the changes you’ve noticed in their behavior and reminding them that they deserve to be treated with respect.Providing resources can be a powerful way to help. Share information about organizations that specialize in teen dating violence, such as Break the Cycle and Love is Respect. Encourage your friend to speak to a trusted adult, like a teacher, school counselor, or parent, who can help them create a plan to stay safe. Leaving an abusive relationship can be difficult and even dangerous, so be patient and continue offering support. Let your friend know they are not alone and that you will stand by them no matter what. Your support can be a lifeline that helps them take the steps they need toward safety and healing.

Getting Help and Finding Support

If you or someone you know is in an unhealthy or abusive relationship, there are resources available to provide guidance, education, and support:

Break the Cycle: The leading national nonprofit organization that provides preventive dating and domestic violence education and outreach to teens and young adults.
Center for Healthy Teen Relationships: A project of the Idaho Coalition of Sexual and Domestic Violence that works to build the capacity of schools and youth organizations to prevent relationship abuse.
Love is Respect: A resource that provides information and support to empower young people to prevent and end abusive relationships.
Peaceful Paths: Peaceful Paths is the certified domestic violence center serving Alachua, Bradford and Union Counties in North Central Florida, offering emergency shelter, a helpline, support group, counseling, children’s programs, legal services and violence prevention services. Call 1-352-377-8255.
National Domestic Violence Hotline: Call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or text “LOVEIS” to 22522 for confidential support.

You Are Not Alone

If you need a safe space to talk about your relationship or seek guidance on how to move forward, Wolcott Counseling & Wellness is here to help. Our compassionate team is dedicated to providing support and resources to those experiencing teen dating violence and families helping teens. Reach out today to start your journey toward healing and safety!