In recent years, therapeutic terms like “manipulation,” “gaslighting,” and various diagnostic labels have become part of everyday conversation. While raising awareness about mental health is important, the casual misuse of these terms can dilute their meaning and, more worryingly, endanger others.
The Problem with Mislabeling
When terms like “narcissist” or “gaslighting” are used loosely, they can lose their clinical significance. For example, calling someone a narcissist because they exhibit selfish behavior ignores the complex criteria required for a diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Similarly, labeling disagreements or misunderstandings as “gaslighting” can trivialize the serious psychological abuse the term originally described.
This overuse can harm relationships, stigmatize individuals, and prevent people from getting the professional help they need. When diagnostic terms are thrown around carelessly, those truly suffering from mental health issues may feel invalidated or misunderstood. It can also lead to false accusations, damaging trust and communication between people.
How It Endangers Others
Misusing these terms doesn’t just dilute their meaning; it can also endanger others. For example, accusing someone of being manipulative or gaslighting without fully understanding the context can escalate conflicts and create unnecessary hostility. This can result in serious social consequences, from strained relationships to workplace discrimination.
Additionally, the use of terms based in incorrect information can lead to mismanagement of mental health concerns. It is important that the meaning behind words continue to carry their weight and effectively communicate the severity of an experience or situation. This dilution or twisting of terms can prevent someone from accessing the appropriate treatment or support they need.
A Call for Caution and Compassion
As therapists, we advocate for increased awareness and understanding of mental health. Instead of jumping to conclusions or labeling behaviors with clinical terms, let’s promote open, honest communication and encourage people to seek professional guidance when they’re struggling.
By being mindful of our language, we can help preserve the integrity of these important concepts and protect the mental health and well-being of ourselves and others.
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For readers seeking more information or guidance on mental health topics, consider scheduling an appointment with one of our therapists who can provide professional insight tailored to your individual needs. You can book an appointment by calling (352) 363- 1998.
Misusing clinical terms doesn’t just dilute their meaning; it can also endanger others. For example, accusing someone of being manipulative or gaslighting without fully understanding the context can escalate conflicts and create unnecessary hostility. This can result in serious social consequences, from strained relationships to workplace discrimination.
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This week: Cheryl Strayed’s brand new podcast, Sugar Calling.
Sugar Calling is a podcast specifically for this moment in time. Strayed is talking with writers who inspire her with their wisdom, courage and insight, to give us some perspective on the history we’re living though right now.
Strayed wrote the incredible memoir Wild (you know I love memoirs), about her trek on the PCT/Pacific Crest Trail, and she’s also known for “Dear Sugar,” the radically empathetic advice column on “The Rumpus.”
In this first episode of Sugar Calling, she talks with George Saunders (author of, among others, the fantastic novel, Lincoln in the Bardo).
The episode is called Everything Is Always Keep Changing. Saunders is Strayed’s mentor, friend, and MFS graduate school professor from years ago.
About the moment we’re in, with all the misery around the globe, and being a writer observing it, Saunders says:
“In some ways, you know, there’s always misery, it’s always happening. In times like this, …[M]y mind wants to have answers for everything. Wants to have a take on things, to give myself comfort.
It’s like when you slip on the ice…that split second before you’re about to hit the ground, that’s really having no take. You’re just out of control and the pavement’s rushing up. So sometimes, you’re like yeah, we’re in THAT moment.”
He reads the letter he recently wrote to his writing students at Syracuse University, which took my breath away — but also shifted my perspective and gave me comfort.
“….[T]his is when the world needs our eyes and ears and minds. This has never happened before here, at least not since 1918. We are, and especially you are, the generation that is going to have to help us make sense of this. And recover afterwards. ….
Fifty years from now, people the age you are now, won’t believe this ever happened. [W]hat will convince that future kid, is what you’re able to write about this. And what you’re able to write about it, will depend on how much sharp attention you’re able to pay now….Also, I think, with how open you can keep your heart. I’m trying to practice feeling something like ‘Ah–so this is happening, now.’ Or ‘Hmmm. So this, too, is part of life on earth. I did not know that, Universe.’ ”
Saunders describes meeting a man at a homeless camp in Fresno where he once lived incognito to write a story.
“The best thing I heard in there was from this older guy from Guatemala. He was always saying ‘Everything is always keep changing.’ Truer words were never spoken. It’s only when we expect solidity, non change, that we get taken by surprise.”
“The world is like a sleeping tiger. And we tend to live our lives there on it’s back. Now and then that tiger wakes up. And that is terrifying. Sometimes it wakes up when someone we love dies. Or someone breaks our heart. Or there’s a pandemic. But this is far from the first time that tiger has come awake. He/She has been doing it since the beginning of time and will never stop doing it. And always there have been writers to observe it and later make sense of it…or at least bear witness to it.”
I love that image of the tiger. We’re so small on the back of the tiger, we forget where we are; we have the illusion of control and stability. The more we cling to that, the more pain we feel. Again, I go back to the spiritual concept of non-attachment. What a difficult balance it is, in this world, to love, to attach, to create security, while also knowing there are limits to our control, and to practice thriving in uncertainty, tolerating so much ambiguity, keeping our hearts open to both the beauty and the brutality of life…(as Glennon Doyle says, Brutiful life).
The rest of the interview is amazing; check it out. I can’t wait to hear following episodes of Sugar Calling. It’s the wisdom I need in this time, and I hope it’s helpful to you, too.
Be well. Wash your hands. Stay connected.
Lisa
